We seem to be in a new era of Christian conversation. Recent events such as COVID-19, issues over social justice, and religious liberty concerns have exposed a dangerous trend that has been lurking in the shadows. We have lost our ability to speak to others in a civil manner. The expansion of social media interaction has only put a spot light on the fact that most Christians cannot seem to engage on any issue without using inflammatory language and name calling. The questions that must be asked at this point is, can we recover? Can Christians regain their testimony in this area? Are we too far gone? The simple answer to this is that we serve a patient and longsuffering God who is abounding in covenant faithfulness to His people. God’s grace is sufficient for every moment and we should celebrate this truth. However, what is our hope of recovery as we look down the path at more divisiveness and unrest? Thankfully God’s word points us to the way forward.

Recover the Imago Dei

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26-27 ESV)

One of the most neglected parts of our conversation with people or about people is the theological concept of the imago dei. Simply put, the imago dei principle demands that people understand the way that God has created all of humanity. Humans are created by God in his image which means that they inherently carry worth, dignity, and value. All people, regardless of their status before God, have worth dignity and value. So every conversation that we have about people must be framed by this understanding. We may disagree on many things but that disagreement does not rob someone of their worth, dignity, and value. For Christians to refer to anyone as “trash human beings”, “pieces of trash”, “not worthy of life”, or any other type of remark that is along these lines shows that we have forgotten who people are. They are image bearers. This means that even if we don’t agree with all someone has to say on a subject we still are required to respect them because they have been made in the image of God.

Recover Kindness

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 ESV)

I used to hate this verse growing up. Anytime there was conflict between siblings my mom would quote this verse (she still does when her grown children give evidence that they still haven’t learned this truth). However, I now love this verse even though I am not perfect in this area. Not only do people who we talk to deserve our respect they also deserve our kindness. Notice what Paul shows as the motivator for this kind, tenderhearted and forgiving person, Christ’s forgiveness. As I reflect on Christ’s forgiveness of my sins and rescuing me in salvation I should become a more kind, tender, and forgiving person. This does not mean that I am a doormat or don’t stand up for the things in which I believe. What it does mean is that my engagement around such issues is framed by the truth of the Gospel and the transformation that God has done in my life even when I disagree with others. Christian civility is shaped and guided by personal gospel transformation.

Recover Truth Telling in Love

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ (Ephesians 4:15 ESV)

One error that has caused the loss of Christian civility is the idea that how one talks is excused provided that they be telling the truth. The excuse of being a “truth-teller” has allowed far too many Christians to say things that are never acceptable according to the Scriptures. Notice that Paul’s emphasis on how we speak is to speak the truth in love. This means that Christians must have a firm grasp on the truth but the way in which they speak truth is just as important as the truth itself. Christians are going to have consciences that lead them to a number of conclusions that are different from other Christians and non-Christians alike but never are those conclusions an excuse to speak in a way other than is loving. This is again not a call to water down truth. Christians must have a firm hold of doctrine that is rooted and based from Scripture. They must never compromise on Biblical truth. They, however, must always be loving and charitable in how they discuss issues with others.

In thinking on this issue the fatal flaw in the loss of Christian civility is that Christians can be far too concerned with being right or winning an argument than in how they think about other people. People are not projects to be fixed or arguments to be corrected. They are people who are made in the image of God and deserve to be respected and loved even when we disagree. Beloved, think of the gospel advance that could be made if we would simply return to the Word of God as our guide for how we converse with others. May we be far more concerned with God being pleased with our way of conversing that winning any argument or being “right” in the sight of others.